The First Jewel: The Treasure of Being
Your loved one is like the woman with three jewels in her apron.
The first jewel is the Treasure of Being.
The Treasure of Being includes all of those gifts that lie at the core of your loved one’s personality.
I believe that every human being is made in the Divine Image – created and treasured by God – and carries more gifts than we see on the surface.
Think of a treasure chest that contains many jewels, diamonds, rubies, emeralds, sapphires, pearls, gold coins, and much more.
Your loved one has many gifts that come from her sharing in the Divine Image.
Please look at the image, The Treasure of Being.
Gifts from the Treasure of Being include your loved one’s virtues, mind, heart, intelligence, capacity for love, traits, memories, wisdom, and experiences.
Those gifts form the facets of the jewel that she is as a unique person.
When breast cancer strikes, she may forget that she has all of those gifts.
So, you can help her remember who she is. And there is a polishing process for doing just that.
Let’s review that polishing process right now.
There are three steps to revealing the treasure of being, all of which involve the first two directions of the Love Compass: Listen. Observe.
When you listen to your loved one, you will hear her share her treasures of being. When you observe her life, you will see that treasure of being with just the right amount of light. Here are the three steps:
Step One: Identify the specific gift.
Step Two: Write down examples of seeing that treasure shine.
Step Three: Share the shining.
Step One: Identify the specific treasure of being
Let’s define and give examples of the facets of the treasure of being.
Virtues are choices that your loved one has repeated over time and have shaped how your loved one lives her life. Examples include patience, sweetness, being gentle, kindness, goodness, love, and so on.
Traits include specific facets of her personality, like her intelligence, sense of humor, being funny, witty, joyful, discreet, accurate, courageous, etc.
Memories and Experiences
Memories are moments in your loved one’s life.
Memories include positive moments in life.
Raising her children, graduating from school, overcoming a challenge, receiving her driver’s license – those moments of accomplishment and victory she has had in her life.
Experiences are similar to memories, although experiences may involve many moments and memories and take up more time in her life.
Examples of experiences include summer in Spain, studying in college for four years, or a week’s vacation in Sedona, Arizona. An experience offers more insights and perspectives on living than a single moment.
Wisdom is the learning that results from experiences, memories and using one’s traits and virtues. Wisdom is a precious gift that guides one’s choices and directions in life.
Step Two: Write down examples of seeing that treasure shine
Now, take a piece of paper and write down a list of different virtues, traits, memories, experiences, and wisdom of your loved one.
You can make columns on the paper with Virtues, Traits, Memories, Experiences, and Wisdom.
Then, write down as many nouns that fall under that category. Circle the nouns that fit your loved one.
Next, transfer the list of virtues, traits, memories, experiences, and wisdom to the second sheet of paper.
Leave three blank lines after each one.
Write down three times events or situations where you heard or saw her use that gift for each of these.
For example, your loved one may be witty. You remember a remark she made about a political situation or something in the news that made you burst out laughing. Write it down.
Go through the list and document a moment when your loved one shared this special gift with you.
Step Three: Share the Shining
Get ready to share that moment with your loved one. But not just yet. You want to share what this moment meant to you and how your loved one made that moment special, just by being who she is.
And you are going to share this shining in a treasuring note. (Click on the highlighted text to read more about a treasuring message.)
Right now, you are getting ready by creating a “treasuring chest” of good things to share.
I’ll tell you why this is important, but first, let’s cover the other two treasures: doing and relating.
Click on the highlighted text to read more about Her Treasure of Doing.